Wednesday, 28 July 2010
WHEN a parent realises their child is hooked on the drug P, it’s already too late, according to TV personality Paul Holmes.
The broadcaster’s troubled stepdaughter Millie Elder and her boyfriend Connor Morris have featured in frequent news reports over her much-publicised court appearances for methamphetamine use.
Now Holmes is set to share his pain and guilt with a Whakatane audience next month.
He said while still “loving Millie to bits”, he had been forced to distance himself from his daughter after her behaviour took a turn for the worse.
He told the Beacon he hoped she was “doing everything right” and had not thought of cutting the ties completely.
“I have a phone number for her, but it doesn’t seem to work …
“I’ve had to pull back from her – it was becoming too emotionally demanding, but I’ve never ever thought of disowning her,” he said.
“No, you never think like that. I miss her every day.”
Having brought up his daughter in a normal environment, there had been little warning of the impending P catastrophe.
“It’s not like dope, where kids come home red-eyed and smelling of cannabis,” Holmes said.
“It’s not like alcohol, which is also a big problem, but where people fall asleep and wake up sober.
“With P they don’t fall asleep – they go crazy.”
Finding out that his daughter was in trouble with the law and abusing drugs had brought lots of self recrimination.
“The sense of guilt is huge,” Holmes said.
“But, in the end, you look back, and young think ‘I am a good man, I am a good parent, and we all had fun together’.”
The family’s idyllic existence had been shattered by the arrival of Connor Morris in their midst.
“Along came a boy and things went downhill – but we still love her.”
He wanted to do as much as he could to share his painful lessons.
“I do give quite a few talks on P, even if it’s not every week,” he said.
“If I’m asked to spread the word, I’ll do what I can. Parents don’t recognise the signs and when they find out, it’s already too late.”
Holmes said the government had failed for 10 years to do anything about methamphetamine.
“John Key is starting to do something now, but it’s only a beginning,” he said.
Awareness among parents had started to grow, and this was very important because the signs of P abuse were not easy to spot.
“When we found out about her situation, the matter was already before the courts.”
Invited by Whakatane West Rotary, Holmes will speak at the Liberty Centre on Monday, August 16, starting at 7pm.
Tickets are available from Radio 1XX, Sportsworld and Holiday World of Travel.
Also speaking at the event are fellow anti-drug campaigner Pat Buckley and Senior Sergeant Bruce Jenkins of the Whakatane police.